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1%er News:

Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activis

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BY: Fuzzy Duffy
Source: thespoof.com

Pennsylvania - ~Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.~

Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials.

"Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong."

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, "growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said the organizer. "Motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it... Ergo, they should stop."

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting "you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"

"I... I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket. And, he... he didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, 'You can't prove that.' Next thing I know is he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman."

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers "farted on their heads."

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.

"That's preposterous," said on high ranking member of the biker organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome."

When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer.

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Posted on 1/4/2010 5:52 AM | 1%er News
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Leather
Posted by smokebomb81 on 1/9/2010 11:35 AM

that is just too funny! Wish I could have participated in "the Secret Handshake". I imagaine they will think twice next time huh?

TIED TO A TREE
Posted by MOTOR on 1/7/2010 6:24 PM

IF ONE OF MY BRO'S WOULD TIE YOU TO A TREE AND ONLY PISS ON, THEN YOU SHOULD SAY THANK YOU SIR.

Dumbasses
Posted by JerZShoreBiker on 1/6/2010 8:08 AM

Very funny, got what they deserved

make a movie out of it
Posted by wingman on 1/5/2010 6:39 PM

Would be funny to see on sons of anarchy, or a SNL spoof. Could of been a movie in the 60's...

Fuckin love it man!!!!
Posted by Kruizin on 1/5/2010 4:54 PM

Wether its a spoof or the real deal I love it man.They got what they deserved and alot less. They better think twice about leather being used,We use it, war vets used it and still do, I would bet Fuck even pigs on their scoots wear it... any person that uses gloves, bike jackets, chaps, and dont get me started on my ole ladies apparel out side or in!!!!And yeah it would figure to be a spoof no doult!!!!..lol..Nice to get a laugh once in awhile...




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